Being Younger...

How is it that life always lays down a certain amount of rules, but not rules that are obvious. Ok, so life doesn't always deliver the obvious.

You have to be out there getting your hands dirty as they'ld say, but what does it mean. Surely it doesn't imply digging around in the mud - No, it means that you should mentally dig in those places where your life alterations await for you to descover and nerture them. Alterations, maybe not the right word, but it sounds good in the context - don't you think...

Ok lets get to the point those rules are simple, but we seem to complicate everything trown in our path. Mainly because those rules aren't allowing us to do what actually needs to be done. So, what needs to be done? Allot if you have a look at life in general. You have to grow, grow in a way that will allow you to one day be your own self and will also allow you to read lifes obvious rules. Those rules that gives you the right to a job, a marriage and one day a family who you can support and guide in the obvious rules of life...

What a day...

I got up at 06:30 as usual and half way through my shower the door bell rings...

with my hair full of shampoo I look at my watch and thought to myself who on earth could that be????

As it was I ended up with soap in my eye and nearly broke me neck as I walked on to the tile floor with my half-dried feet. Opening the door in my boxer - a chill went through me as two well dressed men stood at my front door with a warrant...

A warrant for what?

My landlord had failed to pay his parking fine which had acumilated to £635.57 and if he does so again by the end of today my things will be reposessed. I went mad...Absolutely bongkers!!!

So I call the old landlord and had a few words over the phone and within 20mins he knocked on my front door...How nice.

It all boiled down to the fact that he had sold a car, but still has the car on his name. Needles to say I made him cough up the cash and sent the debt collectors on their way, asking my landlord to stay behind. We had a light chat and as we speak all the little things around the house that needed seeing to are being fixed.

So who says Friday the 13th can't have some good luck in it.

So giving her space would be the obvious choice, but do I give her enough so that she can ring my neck, and with it the relationship?

I don't know...

I just wish I could make it easier for her, but on the other hand - she's got it pretty easy. I've backed off and I'm doing my own thing...Would it really help though? Help save our reslationship - help save us!

You know how they say every bowl has a lid, well in this case this is my lid and I don't want it gone. Maybe we are to serious and we should 'cool' down. I just don't see the point in going back...

Is there a point in going back, or should you take it as it comes???

How to...??? I don't think anyone knows to be honest. This is probably one of the questions that are never going to be answered and we'll all just have to trot allong and figure it out ourselfes.

My girl and I are going through a rough patch and she wants space, not in a bad way though, or so I hope. She just wants me to not seek so much attention, but how do I back off? When I want to spend every minute of every day with her.

I know giving her the space she wants is for the greater good of our relationship, but I'm not sure how to handle it. How to let it not bother me, and then thjere's the question of - "Is it me??".
Hopefully this is just a stage that woman go through and I should just understand, but all of this brings me back to yesterday's problem - I wish I was older...

So if ever you know how to solfe my dilemma, please help. I don't want to lose what's dearest to me...

What's age about? Is it a number that tells you how many pain staking, trouble taking years you've been on this planet of ours called earth, or is it your passport to live in general and the problems going with it. A passport - not really... maybe more of a guide to others. Giving them the oppertunity to judge your character, because of what you might have been through in live. Yet, they never antissipate the fact that you could be more mature. No, they just judge and then without knowing you they make up their minds.

False it might be, but most of the time your age is what places you in live - it's like some controlling force telling you when you're allowed to drink, smoke, drive and date.
It shouldn't be though, it should only be a number. The number telling you how many years you've been trying to make it.

I geusse what I'm trying to say is that age is not just a number - it's a reallity. Something telling you that you're not ready to take on challenges. Telling you that you're not ready for the live of some one older.

My girlfriend is older than me and yet she can't understand why I can be both a child and adult in the same body, mind and most important of all spirrit.
It is in times of her not understanding my age and thoughts that I wish, I wish I was older. Older, so that she can understand me and not place such a big light on the fact that age is not just a number. That age is what causes that gap between us...

...a gap only some one older could close.

And so I leave you with my wish to be older...